THE ROAD TO OBLIVIOUSNESS [I] Author: yEpErEk "Those who say that you can't buy love just don't know where to shop" [volatile_vodka@hotmail.com] Paring: A whole lot of Vegeta, a bit of Goku and little bit of extra... Response: I'm bored, you're bored... so let's do something creative - write something for me to read ^_- Rating/Warnings: First of all, this story is purely *yaoi*, containing *sexual themes* and other such lovely matters... so if you don't know what that means or you don't like that kind of stuff, then just find the 'back' button on your browser and click it few times... and for those who are still interested - Although yaoi, this story is not of the sappy type - that's warning number one... It can be kinda weird and/or twisted and/or complicated to grasp fully [or at least I hope so ^_-] - that's warning number two... and even though I'm yet not too sure where this is going, I'm not really planning a happy ending to this story - that's warning number three... ***DISCLAMIER:*** Ehem here it goes - I don't even own a sane mind, vague sense of reality, the correct time dimension, fundamental abilities of coordination and speech, even the smallest writing talent, not to mention the striking deficiency of sense of humor... so how the hell could I own something like Dragon Ball or any part of it eh? Add to the above a very impractical brain and you'll know that I would have never come up with the idea for doing 'the bellow' for money... oh yeah, and if you are, by any chance, a person with a mind like a razor (sharp and _narrow_) then for your information I also am in no possession of that thing ningens call money, so don't waste your precious time and just don't sue me (I wouldn't have anything suitable to wear to the court anyhow...) [P.S. I really don't understand ppl who hate disclaimers...^-^] *~*~* --The Road To Obliviousness -- " Caught up between your fake dreams and the everlasting mendacity, try to find yourself... ....only to realize what a nightmare you have become..." [JKR] *~*~* Laying absolutely still, with eyes barely open, he mindlessly stared at the smooth surface of the far away ceiling and its sickening, ubiquitous white color... an overwhelmingly cold color...an onerously sterile color... the irresistibly lifeless color... and wondered for just how much longer would he participate in this... this pitiable comedy - full of tiring, little lies, and constant, pathetic misunderstandings with the irritating and galling reticence occurring way too often... and like always, he was the only one who seemed to notice them... Yet, that was what he had consciously chosen... for the sake of his own desperate serenity, for the obviously sham illusion of inner harmony and for that little extra which he had searched all his forlorn life for... But in the end, having received all that he could, nothing had satisfied his expectations, yet alone his true needs, leaving him with that devastating hunger ravaging his fissured soul and brining him closer with everyday to that blissful obliviousness, which he simply called insanity. Yet, so far he managed to suppress all those menacing thoughts and just submerged himself into everyday routine and the rest of the mendacity that surrounded him, ever since he made that decision... ever since he got himself involved into this game...ever since he started to believe that this is truly what he feels... ever since he lied to _him_... He knew how this should end and he knew that sooner or later he would be the one to finish it all, but right now, laying in that comfortable and secure bed, with his body pleasantly relaxed and only the slowly increasing warmth slightly tickling his skin... well, he really didn't see the point why he should terminate everything right at that moment. After all, it couldn't be as bad as his traitorous mind kept telling him... or at least attempting to do so, since his inherited ignorance of reality successfully prevented any doubts and hesitations as far as his current situation went.... Apart from moments like this... It was a moment like this one, when he felt like he was balancing on the edge of his presumable reality and of what was truly undeniable, which made him hate everything allover again, himself included and nothing that he loved, or at least endeavored to do so, excluded... But why today? Why now? Why was this happening to him right now? After all, everything was as perfect as it could get... right? A gentle movement next to him, which made the satin sheets rustle quietly, told him why... The pressure on his chest, caused by the long and sinewy arm, told him why... That compelling scent of bare skin, which irritated his nostrils, told him why... He turned his head and looked at the graciously sleeping, naked figure to his right, at that perfectly sculpted body, at that peaceful, comely face surrounded by an aureole of ebony locks and at that vulnerable smile, which even during his sleep, kept curving the silky lips... When he saw that amazing body shift again, moving even closer to his, he realized that this is was as far as he could go... and that despite his absurd desperation in believing that it was otherwise, he knew perfectly well that he had been living one horrible, yet to some extent awesome lie. Today was the day he would free himself... or at least try to... But he still didn't move and only turned his gaze back to the unalterable ceiling, knowing that the moment he gets off this bed... nothing would be the same again. So he just stared, letting the minutes slip by and his determination fade, pushing him back into his delusive world of falsehoods. *~*~* A quite grunt and another stir somewhere next to him, made him scowl and after a moment of hesitation he finally made up his mind... Even if he somehow managed to live like this and coped with all that guilt that kept creeping into his conscious every now and then... he just couldn't keep hurting that naïve, completely ignorant and innocent man, who wasn't even aware that he's being harmed all the time... and not because he loved him so much, but because... because he _didn't_ feel as he should and because he was unable to return even in the slightest way that enormous affection and care that he was constantly being flooded with... Each day and each night, he received far too much with _his_ every smile, with _his_ every word, with _his_ every touch.... and not only did he not deserve it, but he was at the stage when he just didn't want it anymore... ....but did he truly ever want it in the first place?... No, he doesn't want an answer to that question... because he doesn't want to feel _that_ guilty... Subconsciously tensing, he concentrated on gentle removal of that arm from his body and placing it where it belonged - on the bed, far away from him... Trying hard not to look back... back again at that 'sleeping beauty', he flipped his legs over the bed and was about to jump off, when a warm and moist hand suddenly appeared on his bare thigh, making a quick shiver tremble his body... With the unexpected touch, doubt swiftly crept into his soul, mind and still hungry body... For a second he was prepared to crawl back into that bed and into the open arms of his oblivious lover... but only for a second and finally, with a determined look on his face, he grabbed for that hand and was in the middle of dropping it back onto the sheets, when without any warning he felt his body jolt backwards when an unidentified force pulled his arm and he instantly found himself face to face with the owner of the vagrant hand. He gasped when he felt the warm, musk breath on his face and two, black pools staring intensely into his own eyes. He blinked hard few times as he stared back at the fetching face of the other man, who had a very underdetermined look etched into his fine features... it was something between pain, anger and surprise... a very unpleasant combination, especially when preformed by _that_ man... Why did he feel like he was just caught on doing something wrong? As if the man in front of him knew what he had been thinking about...from the very beginning of this, quickly gaining in atrociousness, morning... Yet, that look faded as quickly as it appeared and soon he was gazing at a typical goof smile and the lively, shining with happiness eyes with playfulness basically gushing from his entire face. "Where are you going 'Geta?" His smile widened some more and he kept pulling the Prince even closer, until their noses touched. "Let go Kakarrot, I'm going to take a shower..." He tried to gently free himself, as he realized that he was still holding the other Saiyan's hand. He expected a proposition of company, but what he really heard surprised him and made him feel... guilty... again. "Tell me where are you _really_ going Vegeta..." Even though he was still smiling, something dark slowly sneaked into his face. "I'm..." He couldn't find the right words... no, he _could_ but he just didn't want to say them... straight into the younger man's face. For few mercilessly long seconds they just looked at each other and when he was finally ready to spit out the truth, he suddenly felt a strong arm wrapping itself around his shoulders and to his great surprise, disbelief and... regret, after another pull on his body, he found his lips press hard against Goku's smooth and hungry mouth. He felt that soft and swift tongue trace the outline of his own lips, but he granted it no access to his mouth. Even when he felt the tickling bites on them and when one of the gentle hands started to delicately caress his neck, moving lower and lower - he still didn't give in. But he eventually made the mistake of attempting to tell the other Saiyan to stop and unconsciously parted his lips, which instantly resulted in an intrusion of that voracious, gorgeous snake. At that point he was very desperate to free himself from this increasingly pleasant embrace, but the more he tried the less he wanted... to leave... to end this... to regain freedom... Finally, his body betrayed him and Goku noticed it straight away... There was no return now - his mind had once again lost the battle with his traitorous physicality. As he felt the tender waves of increasing delight, spread through his body, he pulled the larger man even closer to himself, pressing hard against his muscular torso and fervently returning the kiss, whilst letting all the relevant thoughts slip from his conscious. Soon enough, their bodies tangled up completely, submerging them into an ecstatic obscurity with the glossy fabric of the sheets spilling over them and embracing their passion into a cool mist, which quickly started to burn their skin... but they never noticed it - by then, they were irreversibly lost in each other's lust. But even on the edge of that volatile heaven and so close to absolute drowning in the endless pleasure, he still managed for a brief second to recall the constantly returning essence of his torture... .... this was all a lie ... *~*~* THE END yEpErEk [to be continued... somewhere, somehow...emmm hopefully]