Exposure, part 2
By: Chocolate-chan

I walked into my room in the morning, rubbing my eyes and feeling more tired than I could ever recall. To my shock, Goten was
still there, fully dressed, asleep on my bed. I took a shower, desperately needing the hot water, and returned to my room again,
looking at him.
"Goten," I said at last. "It's morning."
Goten started and sat up at the sound of my voice. He sits upright on the bed and rubs his eyes, looking at me for a long moment.
I find myself wanting to hold him again as I did last night. He would hate me forever. I stand aside and let him pass through the
doorway as he rose, not looking at me, jaw clamped tightly. I followed him down the stairs, my mouth wanting to open, say
something to stop him, but at last we were both halted by the sound of voices in the kitchen.
Goten turned toward it just as I did, and I followed him into the kitchen, where my mother and Goku sat at the table, talking over
an early breakfast. They are both startled to see us come into the room, but Goku dons his goofy smile, the one he and his sons
share genetically, and my mother rises to get food for us.
"I'm not hungry," Goten says, and they both react rather comically. I hold myself still, not feeling hungry myself. "I'm going home to
sleep," he informs his father and moves back out of the door past me.
"What's wrong with Goten, Trunks?" Goku asks me suddenly after I've sat down for a cup of coffee and a banana.
I pause, and lower the mug from my mouth. "I don't know," I say at last. "He's just stressed out lately." I imply with my voice that
he's upset over our parents, and Goku and Kaa-san are silent. Goku eats swiftly, for him, and heads for the door, saying he wants
to talk to Goten. I swallow hard but say nothing. As he pauses at the door, he and my mother share a look... I catch it over the
rim of my mug and find myself frowning into my coffee, wondering what brought that expression over their faces.
After a moment Goku's gaze shifts to me and notices, and he leaves.
"Kaa-san..." say slowly after a long silence between us. "What's going on?"
"What?" My mother does a good job of feigning innocence, which for all I know might be real. I just have this feeling.. and I
remember one time my father told me to always trust my instincts.
"There's something going on," I declared. "Something you aren't telling the rest of us. I don't think Goten suspects, and I don't
know about Gohan, but I can tell. What do you two know that we don't?"
I was right to wait as long as I did; even now, mother's face turns pale even as Bra comes down the stairs and through the kitchen
door, running to me.
"O-nii-chan! You woke up!" Bra recieved a distracted hug from me as I watched my mother. She rises to get Bra breakfast, and
I let my gaze remain on her whenever she looks my way, letting her know that one way or another I will have an answer.

After a time Goku and Goten came again, but I was in my room sulking as I had been for several days, and my mother left me
alone, although when my sister's need for attention became too great she would come in and lay her head in my lap and I would
give her the attention, or talk about father, or whatever she wanted.
My mother, assuming that Goten and I would want to see each other, sent him up without time for an explanation, and thus I
discovered him standing in the hallway with a look of great reluctance on his face, deliberating between knocking on my door and
escaping out a window.
I had expected him to go for a window about the time I walked out of my room. I stared a little blankly at him as he tugged at the
painted-shut window. The paint was cracking, until he noticed I was there. He looked sheepish at his paint-chipped hands.
I stood aside and he came into my room with a large sigh, and I closed the door behind him.
"Guess we need to talk," I told him.
"I guess so," he muttered in return.
"Well," I began when he was silent. "You've had a few days. What do you want?"
Goten looked a little angry. I'm not sure what he would have said, but he stopped himself and tried again. "I know you were
upset. You try not to let anyone know it, but you were upset that night."
I was sad for a moment; the fluidity of my emotional nature was lost even on dear Goten. "So what are you saying?"
Goten looked uncomfortable as he sat on the bed where we had made love. He seemed to realize that as the thought passed
through my head, because he rose and paced. "Those things you said to me..."
All truth, I said to myself as he turned to look at me. But when his eyes met mine, I realized the only reason he had even
considered coming to talk to me before going to the window. When I spoke, I let him know I was lying now, but I don't think he
cared to look that far, or if he did, he ignored it for what he wanted to hear.
"All lies," I assured him. "I was upset, and so were you, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said those things." I wondered if that tight
sensation in my chest was my heart breaking.
"Do you mean that?" Goten looked relieved. "I was pretty upset then too, and I..."
"I want to still be your friend, Goten. Will you allow that?"
"Of course," he replied immediately. "It's all forgotten."
Never. "Thank you," I told him. Goten sat on the bed again.
"On to more important things," I said smoothly enough once I had worked past the lump in my throat. "I think something is going
on between our parents, and they won't tell us what it is."
"Tou-san has been distracted for the past few days," Goten said as his eyes bored their way into the corner of the room in
concentration, after forcing his mind onto the subject.
"They know something. I didn't mean to be spying on them that first day, but when you were asleep I walked out, and I heard
them say 'I think you know why they were there.' and the other said 'Yes.'"
Goten's eyes widened blankly. "How could that be important?"
"I don't know," I said, grasping fully the problem I'd used to help forget about Goten for the past few days. "It is, from the way
they said it. From the fact that they said it at all!" I think my suspiciousness rubbed off a little on Goten.
"Are you saying that the accident was not an accident?" Goten didn't fully meet my eyes.
"No. I'm saying the fact that they were there together at that place and that time was no accident. But why would they? They
really had nothing to do with each other."
"Hmm." Goten let a finger rise to tap his lips as he thought.
"I know it's a reach, but I can't help from being bothered by them."
"I think you're jumping to conclusions," Goten said. In the past if Goten had said such, I would have been inclined to believe him,
and suggest that we go spar instead of think about it. But this time my mind wouldn't let the subject alone.
"I asked my mother before now, and she didn't get a chance to answer, but she went very pale."
Goten was silent.
"I'm going to go ask."
"Now?" He looked alarmed.
"Yeah, now that they're together." I knew it would work better if he came with me, but I wouldn't ask. I instead looked at him
until he had to stop avoiding my gaze and return it. At last he nodded and brushed himself off as he rose.
If he wanted to be just friends, I mused as we walked down the stairs together, then I would. I would do anything he wanted as
long as he was being honest with himself. Why wasn't he looking at me? Goten would if he were sure of himself.
"Kaa-san? Goku-san?" I came to a stop at the table in the kitchen where the two had coffee and had sunk into a momentary
silence. "We have some things we want to ask you."
Goku looked up in curiosity, but my mother shook her head. "No Trunks, don't ask anything." My mother had never denied me a
question in her life.
"Then I'll ask," Goten said after a moment. "You two seem to know something that you're keeping from us about the accident..."
he paused, "Or the circumstances around it. We want to know what you feel should be kept from us." The fact that we were
practically grown and could leave the house at any time hung upon the air, but was left unsaid.
Goku's face went dark as well now. "Do you have any idea what you're asking? No, you must not. We would never have said
such either until we knew."
Bulma looked at him uncertainly, but his gaze remained on us.
"We want to know," I said at last after sharing a glance with a bewildered Goten. "They were our parents. Don't we have the
right?"
Goku seemed willing for us to know, but looked as though he wouldn't or couldn't bring himself to say it. My mother took a long
drink of coffee and a big breath.
"They were having an affair."
"Come off it!" Was my immediate explosive reply. "No one would put up with Tou-san but you, Kaa-san. He wouldn't have
married you if he didn't love you, anyway, right? Besides, look at it from a Saiyan point of view. Goku-san had the right to kill
him, for cheating with his wife, right?" Goten blinked at me oddly.
They both nodded as I said it. "We thought of that too. But there is evidence that proves it. We weren't entirely sure until the
accident, when they were found next to each other, holding hands."
"It's a lie!" Goten said. I paused to look at him. He was paler than I could recall ever seeing him. But my mother looked as though
she were in pain as well, and I knew she wouldn't lie about something like this.
"It's not a lie," Goku said softly, and Goten looked as though he would cry again.
"Why?" I asked after a moment. "I can't think of two people more unalike than them. Why each other?"
"They were maybe more alike than you realized," Goku said. "Chichi was fierce and proud, and so was Vegeta.. the only
difference was how many people knew it, and how they used the quality. They played the same part in our relationships, and I
guess..." he paused as though pained. "I guess we weren't enough for them."
My mother took the statement hard, and Goten shook his head for several moments before turning and running from the room.
"Goten-" he wasn't listening to me, and I let him go when my mother rose and said, "I would like to speak with him."
I was left in the kitchen with Goku, who looked at me with subdued dark eyes. Dash the image of my father before me... "Is
that it?" I asked with finality as I sat heavily.
"Your mother is upset," Goku said, as though it hadn't occurred to me.
No shit, man. "And?"
"I'd appreciate it for her sake if you didn't ask her any more questions like that."
"What's up with you?" I asked rather rudely as it came to me that he wasn't acting like himself.
"I'm just worried about her," he said.
"But it doesn't seem to bother you," I said, even though it wasn't true; I still wondered why he hadn't cried.
"That's not true," he said firmly. "To tell you the truth, I was so lost when I first suspected. I came to your mother and she calmed
me down somewhat. I continued to talk to her, until she told me that she was getting suspicious of Vegeta. We both figured it was
paranoia on both our parts, but I started to see it too, as did she."
"Why didn't you do anything?" I asked, my voice rough.
"You can't just go to people like that and accuse them. We were going to say something to each of them privately, and take care
of it in our respective families. Did you know, your parents were in the process of getting a divorce?"
"They would have told me something like that." I was pretty sure of myself until he spoke.
"They didn't, for Bra's sake. And I think your mother would appreciate if you did the same."
I had no choice but to go to my room and... I laid back on my bed and let some of my frustration be released in tears. I felt as
though I'd lost everything in a day.

As the next few weeks rolled on, I found myself losing ground with Goten and uncomfortable with my mother and Goku, until one
day I found myself left with Gohan, Videl and Bra and little Pan in the house with me. Gohan took me out for lunch and left the
girls with Videl.
"You wanna tell me how you've been?" Gohan asked as we looked over menus.
"I'm fine," I lied.
"Quit telling stories. I was telling them before you were born." Gohan set his menu aside.
"I'm as well as can be expected," I said, setting mine aside as well and fidgeting with my fingers on the tabletop.
"What's going on with you and my brother?" He asked.
"Did Goten say something was going on?" I asked lightly. "I know for a fact that nothing is going on," I informed him, knowing it
was true in one sense or another.
"Did you upset him?"
"I really don't know how Goten feels right now."
"What about everything else?" He asked after a sigh that dropped the subject. "How are you at home?"
He asked kindly, I recalled that I had taken my lessons in big-brotherhood from him. Either from his interactions with me or with
his own brother. Gohan seemed truly concerned about me now.
"I'm not doing so well," I admitted at last. "But before you ask, I can't be helped and talking about it would probably make me
feel worse."
Gohan frowned a little sadly at me, and said at last "Then let's forget about whatever's bothering you."
I had a good enough time with him, and when he took me home Videl and Pan had gone home. Gohan waved goodbye to me
and took to the air. I went inside and hugged my mother.
"I'm sorry for however I've been lately, Kaa-san."
"It's fine, Trunks." She hugged me as though grateful and I went up to play with my sister.
A few days later we were all called together. I sat down as I entered the room, near Goten, who smiled slightly, and I smiled
back and was silent. Gohan held his small daughter until she squirmed free to play with Bra.
My mother stood across the room with Goku, the two waiting until Videl had entered the room, and standing in front of us.
I had a distinctly bad feeling about this. From Goten's face I wouldn't know whether to say he was having any feelings at all.
"We wanted to tell you all something at once and answer your questions. Goku and I have decided to marry."
No fucking way, passed through my head.
The room blinked collectively until Pan turned toward Bra and her high voice asked, "What does that make you to me?"
"Your... aunt," Bra decided after laborous counting and thinking.
No fucking way.
"What, um..." Videl paused. I knew she and Mom were rather close, her having lived in the city nearby when whe was younger,
before marrying Gohan, and them having similar dispositions. "What brought this about?"
"We've spent a lot of time together since the accident, and we've known each other for a long time." It wasn't an answer, not
really, but everyone seemed to accept without asking that they were both lonely. I wondered if Gohan knew that they had been
betrayed. Like dispositions, indeed. Kaa-san interfaces with everyone.
"It just seems, well I don't know..." Gohan said doubtfully. "Sudden. Are you sure you've... thought.. about it?"
"We have," Goku answered gravely.
No fucking way.
They didn't exactly look like they were in love. Maybe they weren't. I looked at Goten. He was still in the blinking stage.
Could I have Goten as my brother? I still wanted him as a lover, and if he had asked I would have admitted it. But he wouldn't,
because he was afraid of the answer. He had spoken to me less than ever in our lives lately, and I wanted to patch things over
with him. Maybe this way...
I knew my heart would break for real that way. I really did love him, and it wouldn't be changed if he forced me to lie to him a
million times.
I looked at them steadily. They both looked at Goten and I who were silent and asked to speak to us alone. Gohan and Videl got
up and brought Pan and Bra with them as they walked out, looking disturbed.
"They don't know about what happened. Bulma and I have been growing closer since the divorce began. We want to know if you
two would support us."
Bulma raised a shoulder and let it drop again. "To tell the truth, it wouldn't affect them so much as it would you two, with the
exception of Bra. And I know it would be harder for you two to get used to."
They were trying not to be entirely unsympathetic, but there was no way they could know-
"I don't really know how I feel about it," I said at last. "I need to think."
Goten blinked a few more times and said, "You're kidding."
"We're not," my mother said.
"Is this just because of what they were doing?"
"No," Goku said. "It's not."
"I don't know." Goten would say only this when they pressed him. By asking their questions, I assumed Gohan and Videl had
given up the right to be asked. Goku turned to my mother after a moment.
"I think Goten and I should go for now." He turned and took my mother by the shoulders and kissed her on the cheek, almost
shyly. Were they still just barely into whatever relationship they had formed? But it gave my mother a smile and she nodded. It
was kinda good to see her smile. Goku took Goten out of the room as my mother turned to me.
After a long time I stood and thought of getting away. My mother stepped up to me, and looked up into my face. "Trunks, I want
you to understand, somehow..."
"I don't know, mama." My tone was heavier than she deserved. After all, what had she done wrong? She had hesitated to believe
that her husband was cheating on her. She had granted him divorce when he asked. She had fallen in love again.
I certainly understood romantic love, even if only the unrequited type.
"Are you in love with Goku-san, mama?"
"I love him," she said.
"Are you in love with him?" I realized that I didn't really want an answer. What had the two of them had going between them that
made them decide they needed each other that way? And it was so sudden. Father and Chichi-san were barely cold in the
ground, in my opinion.
"You don't have to answer that. It doesn't matter." I turned and walked toward the door.
"Please," my mother said at last. "Think about it."
"I will." I assured her with this and took off for the place in the woods where Goten and I had trained for years. I shouldn't have
been surprised to find him there.
I found out when a punch was aimed at my head. It was commonly known that any and all who stepped foot here were fair game.
Once Gohan had had to fight a two-hour match against us both just to tell us our mothers wanted us home for dinner.
I dodged and knocked his fist away, phasing into the center of the cleared area and waiting for attack.
It came from above. The Kamehameha wave tore up the ground as I dodged aside and stood. He landed and we traded punches
until I simply sat down on the ground in the middle. Not being in the mood to fight, my jaw now throbbed. It went away as Goten
stood and looked at me.
"What are you going to say?" He asked at last.
I thought, silent.
"I thought it was odd," Goten admitted after a moment. "They aren't in love."
"Maybe they need each other a different way," I said. "After a while if they were always together, people would start to talk."
"What are you going to say?"
I was again silent for a beat. "I don't know yet," I admitted at last.
"Tell me something, Trunks."
Getting brave, sweet Goten? "Anything you wish to know," I told him breezily.
"Are you in love with me?"
I was silent. He really didn't want to know. It had to be said, but he was wishing it didn't.
"The stuff you said to me that night, the things that you told me were lies, were they really true?"
"What do you want me to say?" I asked him at last.
"I want the truth!" He seemed offended that I would even ask.
"People say that," I told him. "It often turns out that the truth is not what they wanted. I told you what you wanted to hear. Why
do you have to sit and wonder if I was lying then or before? It's no matter, I lied either way."
"When you lied is important. I need to know." Goten sounded resigned to the truth, whatever it was.
"What do you want me to say?" I asked again, weaker this time.
"I want you to make this simple for us. I want you to tell me that you were sad or lonely or just needed comfort." Goten sounded
a little desperate.
"I'm sorry, Goten. I can't lie to you any more. I'm in love with you." The truth hurt as much as the lies, because it was not what he
wanted to hear. Because I was a fool. Because my heart was in pain at the sadness on his face.
"Trunks..." Goten didn't seem to know what to say.
"I'm in love with you, and I thought for a minute that maybe there was a chance. I'll always love you like that, no matter what you
say or make me say. I don't care if I break myself with lies, there's one thing I always know is true. I won't give up my feelings for
you, no matter if our parents marry or you hate me or the sun comes crashing into the earth."
Goten turned his back to me, and I sat on the ground looking at his the back of his neck, his lowered head.
"There was nothing else to me like that night we were together. It was the best and worst night of my life. I want to be with you
like that forever. I know I'm foolish, but I'm past the point of caring. I need you." I don't think I'm entirely sure of where my
words came from, pre-formed and encapsulated as they were... but they flowed freely as though I'd rehearsed, and broke my
heart with every syllable.
Goten's fists clenched as his mind fought my words. I was pretty sure at that moment that it didn't matter how much I needed him,
I would have to make do without him.
"I'm sorry."
"Why do you keep saying that?" Goten's voice was rough.
"Because..." I realigned myself mentally. "I want you to be happy.. I just hoped for a time that you might be happy with me. I'm
sorry now that I'm upsetting you."
"I still need a best friend. How can I lose you like this?" Goten's voice broke slightly.
"You'll still have a best friend in me, as long as you need me, Goten." He was silent, and I stood and stepped closer to him. "I'll
always be there for you, as long as you want me to be."
"My best friend can't be my lover!" Goten said, sounding angry. His eyes opened, still facing away from me.
"I'll do whatever you want," I said quietly. "I need you with me, no matter how. I'd be grateful if we could at least be friends." It
was the truth, but every word I said hurt me.
"Why are you doing this?" I waited for some elaboration. "Putting everything on me?"
"I'm not putting anything on you," I denied. "If you love me say so, if you don't say so. If you want me to be your friend say so, if
you don't say so. Although I'd recommend we find a way to get along somehow, as our parents seem emotionally attached to
each other."
I think my emotionless humor made him mad. Goten shook slightly. "How can you say the stuff you say?" He was nearly yelling.
"Which stuff?"
"How can you... how can you love me?" Goten spun toward me, his fists still clenched, his eyes glaring on me, his shoulders
shaking slightly.
"Is there any explanation I can give?" It was as if I said nothing, so I asked him gently, "Have you ever been in love?"
Goten glared harder at me.
"There's nothing you can do about it. You love someone because of an immediate attraction or because you've grown to love
them over time. It can be destroyed, but you'll lose the person. It can't be changed."
"What does that mean?" Goten asked as his chin lowered a fraction.
I approached him slowly, coming to stand in arms length, facing him squarely. "It means, I can't help loving you. I always will."
Goten slapped me. I was faintly shocked, but when I turned my face back to him he was angry, at one or both of us.
"Sorry," I told him, breaking a smile. "I still love you."
Goten looked furious and punched me. Then he turned and flew away, wiping his face. I watched until I couldn't see him
anymore, then dropped onto my rear and finally laid back on the grass.
I'm the stupidest guy on the face of the earth. But I still love you, Goten.